Tough Love

It’s been a couple of weeks since I last updated and since then one or two things have changed for Si and myself.

The major change being, we got engaged! He asked me to marry him on Christmas morning whilst we were sat in front of our tree and I swear it’s a day we’ll not soon (or ever) forget. I believe the appropriate response would be… GEEEEEEEEEE! To top it off, he asked my Mom’s permission to marry me before actually getting down on one knee. Yes yes, he’s a keeper indeed.

Another change, albeit isn’t as big but more so final; over our holiday together we met with our immigration lawyer as planned and the process is definitely underway to say the least. You should see my immigration file, the thing is huge! And she gave us a full fledged list of homework to complete by the end of January (along with another invoice) and then told us that if we sent the application in some time in February,  as well as asked (and paid for) rush processing, we could get a response within three weeks rather than three months. Whoa!

There’s so much to prepare for and on the list of homework we were given, Si, bless his heart, has to complete the bulk of it. There are letters I need to prepare, proof of employment and preparation I need to provide, but mainly the list of homework is for Si. That’s not to say I don’t have my share of homework here as well; preparing to move myself and my dog, settling debts, figuring out what’s staying (or being sold) and what’s going to be sent to England, and trying to figure out the most gentle way to say ‘see ya later’ to friends and family. That last one will be the most difficult but it’s something that must be done because I really cannot see living life separated from my guy (now my fiance!!) for much longer.

Speaking of separation… Leaving Si at the airport this last time was, in a word, awful. I cried a little the day before I left, a little the day of, and then I also shed a few tears on the plane somewhere over the Atlantic. Then I cried a little when I first saw my Mom at the airport and then again later that same night before I went back to my empty house. (Should have titled this entry, The Crying). I shouldn’t say empty, at least I have my dog, thank God.

Not having Si with me, not being with him, is heartbreaking. It physically hurts having to leave him back in England; it’s incredibly difficult and some days it feels like it will actually crush me.

That said, what we both have to remember is the love. We’re going through all of this for a reason and that reason is our love. The ups and downs, the tears and the laughter, it’s all a part of it. Not every day has been or will be sunshine and daisies and in fact, with this process, a lot of the days are going to require hard work, determination, and the occasional stack of cash (which equates to even more hours put in at both jobs). This process will require that we pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, focus on the good, and power through the not-so-good keeping our goal in sight. Then again, that’s pretty much what life is all about, no?

This isn’t going to be a walk in the park but a dear friend recently told me that the greatest things in life don’t come easy. He’s right. They don’t. So whatever it is that comes our way; whatever difficulty, whatever roadblock, whatever resistance we are faced with, we will meet head on with drive, determination, and love. Oh and the occasional glass of beer (or Bailey’s).

One thought on “Tough Love

  1. This just makes me wanna hug you. Man, I can identify with everything you said here. It IS crushing at times to be without the one your soul loves. During thr 2 years I was without Samuel, some days I had to remind myself that he wasn’t dead, so quit acting like it. Because that’s how much it hurt and how hard it was… I felt like I was grieving a death – my heart wasn’t whole.

    But gosh… the reason for all this sadness is SO FABULOUS. It’s unbelievably huge joy and sweetness and love! He asked your mom!!! That is so wonderful. I am so happy for you and, really, I am so happy for this really tough season of being apart and the tearsbecause that means you’ve found the love that completes your heart and it isn’t mediocre and it won’t be so easy to take for granted. And you deserve that kind of love. It’s amazing what God did when creating love. Nothing compares to this kind of love. Two babies I adore later, and I don’t hesitate a second to say, nothing compares. Yay you guys!!


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